Self-sabotage? Or just a really good disguise?
"I'm afraid I'll sabotage myself if the scale says something bad."
Someone in Body of Knowledge Weekly - my accountability email program - mentioned this concern recently. And it's a common concern! We get on the scale, it says something we don't like, we say $%*& it! and buy ALL THE DING-DONGS AT 7-11.
And we call it "self-sabotage." But it really isn't.
Let's rip that mask off.That which we call "self-sabotage" is actually just a habitual thought. It's a familiar old pattern, and if you have a habit of overeating, the habitual thought is "You should eat [more / a snack / Ding-Dongs] right now because [scale says something bad / you're hungry / you deserve it]."
It's the thin end of the wedge. The habit tells you to do something YOU said you didn't want to do. Then you feel bad so ... you do more of that! Because the habit is right there still talking to you, saying hey NOTHING MATTERS NOW YOU'VE ALREADY BLOWN MIGHT AS WELL GO TO TOWN.
And THEN it beats you up and calls you names for doing what it told you to do. And it asks you when you're going to stop all the self-sabotage.
Well, I thinka great first step to separate yourself from the sabotage. That's not you you're tripping over. It's a troublesome habit. Some deeply useless bit of gnarly neurology.
It's NOT something you have to live with, because it's not you.
Image: The Suicide of Lucretia, Marcantonio Raimondi, after Rafaël, 1509 - 1514, Rijksmuseum. Used with permission.