Make a decision—so you can stop deciding already
Seems like nothing much going on. AND YET...
Image: Portret van Machteld Muilman, Frans van der Mijn, ca. 1745-1747, Rijksmuseum. Used with permission.
Hi guys. A little report from my isolation chamber in the heart of Marblehead, where it's colder this April than it was in January. I finished Gentefied and am super sad. I'm about to finish Call My Agent and don't know how I'll fill the void. I've ripped out my current sweater, Astrid, at least once. I'm listening exclusively to reggae, hoping it'll warm up the vibe. It won't. I baked some squash and felt like a god damn hero.
Then my husband asked me what time he should go to the store and I was like Can't help you there bub. That question is too intense. My brain is fried and I'm melting down.
He was like How come? I was like Do I need a reason? How about the day's virus stats for Massachusetts? How about the news out of Nova Scotia? How about Chloë Sevigny having to give birth without her boyfriend there, and also the second season of Russian Doll being postponed? How bout that?
It's something for everyone.
Anyway, I imagine you're having this experience at least part of the time. Seemingly nothing going on, while at the same time, everything so weird. The kind of weirdness the mind can't ignore; it's just got to take notice of things like toilet paper shortages and unexpected bean varieties. Things like just when you get used to Trevor Noah looking depressed you have to go and put a mask on. It's so weird!
It's a state of cognitive overload, is what it is, aka meltdowns, aka OMG I've gone all the way to crying over a Justin Bieber song. Also-also known as kind of not a super fun place to hang out if you have a history of eating disorder.
You know I am not the kind of recovered binge eater or bingebuster person that likes to be regimented about eating. Some folks feel they need that; to me that would not equal recovery. Flexibility and a light touch equal recovery. I only plan meals to avoid coming back from the store with six tins of anchovies and no parsley.
But right now I don't want to ask my brain to think much more. I can't take flexible thinking for granted in times of massive cognitive strain. So I am waking up every morning, filling in my little Black Cardigan Edit quarantine planner, and adding a section for planning each of the day's meals.
It's not fancy! It's just something to look at and say, yep, there's that box ticked, there's several more decisions I don't have to make today, under pressure. There's some cognitive load I can take off and at the same time, make sure I get enough nutrition to power some better kinds of thinking.
The DECISION IS IN PLACE. I don't need to melt down trying to decide what's for lunch while also very hungry. I can know that Future Lunchtime Self will be SO HAPPY with me, as will Future Snacktime-Cocktail-Hour Self and Future Dinnertime Self.
If you are struggling with old eating habits coming back to chew on you, or struggling with current habits you'd like to be free of, I can recommend experimenting with the very fine strategy of putting a decision in place, and not revisiting it.
You can do that by making a little lightweight plan for yourself every morning. Tell me how it goes. I am thinking about you.
Oh and by the way, you're also invited to get in my 30-day email program, No More Binges. You can use it to quit bingeing, today. Or to vaporize other eating behaviors you don't want.
The people are saying things like "takes away a lot of inner drama and shame and bullshit" and "these are the perfect times for a daily dose of Max". They are correct!
I made this to MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER by showing you how to quit bingeing in practically no time at all. It's right here.